Shortly after Mom’s death almost 13 years ago, I found a book about finding oneself after losing one’s parents.

At the time the book helped me to understand some of the things I was experiencing. Still I didn’t agree with most of the things mentioned in the book.

Two weeks ago, Dad passed away. It was unexpected, in fact he‘d had a wonderful day on Sunday, going out to dinner with my brother and his wife. In a way it was a blessing that he went as he did. I’ll always remember him dancing up a storm at my niece’s wedding this summer.

Many came to the funeral including family members we haven’t seen in a long, long time. Some of our childhood friends also showed up. They’d seen the name in the paper and wanted to show their support. Despite the occasion, I enjoyed connecting with them and we will keep in touch.

While the book…Losing Your Parents, Finding Yourself… wasn’t just right when Mom passed, it is now that both parents are gone. The book points out that regardless of our relationship with our parents (good, bad, indifferent, etc…) our lives are forever changed when they are gone, we will never be the same person as when they were alive, no longer someone‘s child. Our role in life changes.

My siblings and I are now the generation that our children and grandchildren look up to, their connection to the extended family and to the past.

And so another change along with the many changes this past year.

I lost my voice 2 weeks ago and still don’t quite have it back, I need to be quiet and now is a good time to be quiet.

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